Comments on: How To Resolve Your Core Issue In Life…

By: Julie

Julie — Wed, 06 Feb 2013 01:48:53 +0000

Also wanted to add that there seem to be two distinct camps of people; those who have a fear of engulfment and those who fear abandonment. There can be, of course, moments of both with partners or interested parties but it still comes down to one or the other. I guess the trick is to find someone that isn’t overly neurotic or elusive, ha ha

By: Julie

Julie — Wed, 06 Feb 2013 01:39:20 +0000

I just discovered you today after watching your TED talk which was so moving and courageous. I believe that one of the highest levels of development is the ability to tell the truth. And as you said that there may not be any visible reward for it, except in your soul you are accountable and as you said authentic.
I just had a major meltdown with the man I had loved so deeply and had given so much of my energy and good intentions to. He is a compulsive liar, in unaware of the results his choices make, has no clue as to what his primary core wounding is and a player. So after seeing your TED talk, watching the LoveAtFirstFight video then reading your heartache post, I feel very validated.
My core wounding is an abandoning, emotionally unavailable mom. I have spent the last 30 years of my life pursuing relationships that mirrored this and am shot. I have also spent many years with a gifted psychotherapist excavating these issues. And Bruce, I feel you. (Although your post was dated ’11 and it is now ’13). I could go on and on but will say that the thing I have learned from my experiences is if you feel that ass-kicking attraction and chemistry, GO VERY, VERY SLOWLY. If you meet someone who is incredibly appealing and you feel woozy, put a hand out of the pool to stabilize yourself because this person has a very strong chance of devastating you, hence the overwhelming attraction. I have had several sweep me off my feet introductions like this and have ended with me wanting and them shutting down/running, six months to a year later. Until we get the healing and skill set to not come from a place of desparate need, it will probably end badly. And yes, feel the pain, let it rip until you are empty. I am impressed with a man that has the strength and guts to do this work, there aren’t many out there. I hope to hook up with someone as aware and loving as yourself one day.

By: Lisa

Lisa — Mon, 15 Aug 2011 05:05:55 +0000

So what if you identify the core belief and roughly when it started but not a specific time, however are not brought to tears?! Instead, merely feel deep sadness? I have not cried in almost 14 years..

By: LeeAn

LeeAn — Sun, 10 Jul 2011 16:25:34 +0000

I just can’t get enough of feeling your energy, reading your passion and your website. Recently, I went through one of the most difficult break-ups with a lover. It felt worse than when I found out that my ex-fiance had passed away. Skeptically, I went through the exercises. (Having taken the Landmark Forum myself in 1999, I knew something was available for me.) To my surprise (LOL), I’ve gained clarity about my past relationships and my behaviors.

My pattern in relationships is (describe your repeating pattern)to invalidate myself and walk away before they can break my heart. When my pattern is playing out in my life, I feel worthless, scared and ashamed. I believe that my core issue is neglect and abuse.

The first time I remember experiencing my core issue, which is abandonment, I decided I’m worthless (about myself), I decided the good things in life must not be for me (about life), and I decided that no one could really love me (about the people I love). This plays out in my life as an adult like this: I say yes to relationships that don’t work for me, I try to please people and make them happy, I try not to rock the boat, especially by not rejecting them, withholding when I’m hurt, and not telling anyone when I’m feeling all alone or unloved.

AND the other night, once I let myself get through and past the pain of letting go of this relationship, my underlying issue came up. I finally cried and fully let go of my ex that passed away. It was one of the deepest most sorrowful cries I’ve had in years. Wow, what a release! Thank you. Thank you from the depths of my soul.

By: SG

SG — Thu, 16 Jun 2011 07:11:15 +0000

Bruce, After reading your blogs, watching your videos and listening to your CD, I think you’re an incredible human. What’s amazing is that your own your own path of self discovery and self improvment as you help others on theirs.
Here’s the deal-
The right woman for you will GET you. She’ll make time and have the desire to understand you. She’ll accept you and do what she needs to do to reassure you. She’ll be your partner and it won’t feel like you’re putting a square peg in a round hole. The basics won’t be a struggle.

You’ll find her cause this time you’ll know what to look for.

Warmly,
Simmi

By: Rosanna

Rosanna — Sun, 12 Jun 2011 02:13:32 +0000

Hi Bruce,
my issue is indeed very similar to yours. I too fear being abandoned and switch into saving the relationship. It originated in a different way, though. I’ve been a victim of abuse – I learn from a young age that setting boundaries, defending yourself, saying no to abuse would be interpreted by my abuser as “I don’t love you” and THAT would lead to being abandoned. So I have this pattern of rarely discussing my feelings unless they are related to specific facts or thoughts I can point out. This, of course, leads me to more abandonment. I think you are spot on with your approach because all that “will yourself out of it” sounds too detached, cold, and frankly narcissist to me 🙂

By: Tina

Tina — Wed, 20 Apr 2011 18:34:43 +0000

Bruce..OMG!! When I read your blog I felt like somebody had told you about my circumstances and you wrote about them. People have been trying to help me with my deal for years. You are the first person to put it in a tangible way for me to deal with it and be able to watch it go. Thank you for sharing. I know this is helping you as much as us.

By: Bruce Muzik

Bruce Muzik — Wed, 20 Apr 2011 04:31:05 +0000

In reply to Nikola. My pleasure Nikola...

By: Bev

Bev — Wed, 20 Apr 2011 02:18:49 +0000

I appreciate the honesty of the blog. It made me think!
I found myself divorced in my mid 40’s.
I made a list of men I had dated all my life. The ones I stayed with was A and the B list was the ones I’d rejected for some reason. It became very clear to me quickly, that the ones I rejected were all the nice guys. The ones I stayed with were ones I thought I could fix. I became the enabler….
My sweetie for the last 9 yrs is a nice guy, that I took the time to know and love his bad side, cuz it doesn’t need fixing!

The worst thing about grief is that when you are blindsided with it. The stages of grief are Denial or shock, pain or guilt, Bargaining or and anger, Depression, reflection,loneliness, the upward turn, reconstruction and working through, and hope and acceptance. When you are crazy in the middle of it, it helps to know what is normal!
thank you for sharing,
Bev

By: Nikola

Nikola — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 18:01:44 +0000

Hey Bruce
First and foremost – thank you.
Your work has always been interesting and thought provoking, however, now I feel it. Now it evokes and feels emotional. You now feel very authentic as well as sounding authentic, so thank you for sharing and for being true.
My understanding and my truth is that core issues such as abandonment, lack of self worth and similar are core issues that we as Souls have chosen to experience in order to re-connect to Spirit, Universal Consciousness etc. The truth is that we are always connected and are always in light and truth but the ego of being human does not allow us to remember, to see, to feel… all of the time.
Each of us finds the tools and resources we need in order to recognise our own light and own divinity. As you point out, it is in feeling the lesson and allowing the feelings to happen that the lesson is no longer held within our Body or DNA as some of the harder lessons in life can be.
This is simply my intuitive understanding and I hope of help to others reading your blog.
As I say, the key reason for posting a comment was simply to say thank you for sharing.
Blessings,
Nikola