Self-Help’s Dirty Little Secret

By Bruce Muzik in Blog, Personal Development, Top.

Why Most Self-Help Advice Will Never Work For You

and what to do instead…

The problem with self improvement is that there is just so much advice out there. Most self-help books offer one-size-fits-all type advice assuming that most of us are sorta kinda the same.

On the other hand, you’ve got the 1001 self-help blogs offering cookie cutter advice like “Just do it…” or “You need to love yourself more…”.

Let’s face it – the personal development landscape is more like a minefield. You could waste 5 years of your life exploring any one of the many new-age modalities for fixing your problems, only to discover that they had it all wrong. Ask me how I know.

I’m hoping that this video will get you one step closer to understanding where you are in your life and what to do next.

In this video, you will learn:

  1. The 5 stages of personal growth that we all can pass through.
  2. Which of the 5 stages you are at, and what to expect at each stage.
  3. Exactly what to do next to jump start your personal growth.

UPDATE: As you can tell (by the absence of my grey beard), I was a lot younger when I filmed this video. However, watching it many years later (2016), it is as relevant now as it was when I filmed it.

[vc_video title=”The 5 Stages Of Your Personal Growth” link=”https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-dUxZ6IRNs”]

What Are Developmental Stages?

Just like we all go through stages of physical development as we grow up (e.g. newborn, toddler, child, teenager, 20 something, middle age, wise old man/woman etc…), so we also go through internal stages of growth.

In most developmental models, you cannot skip stages e.g. You cannot go from being a toddler to being a 20 something without passing through your teenage years.

In most developmental models, you can regress, but you cannot jump ahead to a stage you haven’t yet earned e.g. We’ve all seen the 40 something teenager, but we never see the wisdom of a wise old man in a teenager.

Many developmental models exist. Some of my favorites are:

  • Spiral Dynamics – tracks how our values evolve
  • Maslow’s Hierarchy Of Needs – tracks how our needs evolve
  • Roger Hamilton’s Wealth Lighthouse – tracks the stages entrepreneurs go through

These stages are well documented by men and women a lot smarter than me, but most of the books on the topic read like university textbooks – dry, complicated and hard to understand.

With this 5 stage model, I’ve tried to simplify what I’ve learned about developmental growth so that it can actually be useful to you, rather than just more useless information.

With that in mind, here is my take on the self-evident stages of growth we go through as we grow up emotionally and spiritually.

5 Stages Of Your Personal Growth

  1. Survival Emergency
  2. Stabilization
  3. Movement and Momentum
  4. Discovery and Freedom
  5. Mastery

In the video above, I’ll explain each stage in more detail.

I hope you find this information as useful and groundbreaking as I did.

[mk_fancy_title tag_name=”span” color=”#111111″ size=”24″ font_weight=”400″ font_style=”italic” letter_spacing=”1″ font_family=”Lora” font_type=”google”]Bruce[/mk_fancy_title]

P.S. I owe a huge debt of gratitude for the shoulders I stand on that have informed and inspired my interest in developmental psychology over the years. Most namely Wyatt Woodsmall, Eben Pagan, Clare Graves, Adrian Maslow, Ken Wilbur,  Roger Hamilton and Todd Sedelmeier (RIP brother).

P.P.S. Please leave me a comment below and let me know what you’ve learned about yourself.

P.P.P.S. This video was part of a launch promoting a service called Virtual Online Coaching. I no longer offer that service, but you can watch all the launch content using these links:

About The Author

Bruce Muzik is a relationship repair specialist and the founder of Love At First Fight. 

He has dedicated his life to helping couples resolve their relationship issues and be happy together.

He has a hit TEDx talk and a reputation as the guy couples therapists refer their toughest clients to. Learn more about Bruce.

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