Thank you for your reply! 🙂

I see the patterns in our relationship. They come back over and over again. I don’t know he sees them. At this moment I have taken a step backward and don’t want any contact with him right now. There is a lot of hurt and pain and I need to recover from it. I gave us a chance last year, and now exactly the same thing happened again. I’m crying every day..

I don’t think he is willing to work on our issues and I’m almost sure he don’t want to work on his issues. He prefers to reach out for “other things” to satisfy his needs I think… It’s really sad that I can’t connect with him.

He wants to stay friends and want to meet me. But I don’t know what I want. I love him, want to be with him, but as a lover and not as a friend…

Your coaching program is something I really think of doing.
But will it bring my ex and me back together? I don’t think so..

Thank you for all your great information. It really helps me in this time of pain.

Angela x

Hi Angela,

During conflict, emotions of anger, sadness, remorse, desperation, fear, loneliness are completely normal. In fact, I don’t think there is an emotion that is NOT normal. Emotions are an inevitable part of our experience – and we can choose to embrace them or resist them. Resisting them keeps them coming back. Experiencing them fully, allows them to flow naturally through you.

To answer your question of when is it time to move on, read this article I wrote on “When is it time to break up?”. This one will also help you: “When to make relationship decisions”.

If you guys get back together, be sure to attend the next Love At First Fight coaching program. It will help make sure you don’t fall into your old patterns of behavior again and help you feel safely and closely connected again.

Bruce

I was wondering.. What are normal emotions in a fight or struggle? I can be so extreme emotional sometimes and crying tears for hours.. Sometimes I think it’s not normal. And I (almost) understand why my (ex) boyfriend don’t want to be with me anymore. We broke up already for a few times and that makes me so insecure.. Still I want to fight for him, because I believe that our relationship could work. When is it time to move on? And when is it a good decision to do everything to get him back?

Best regards,
Angela

Hi Cleo, the short answer to your question is that we both had the willingness to forgive, the willingness to be accountable and the desire to not hurt each other.

Watched your TED Talk on lying and had to learn more. On this post I ask, Do you love yourself? Does Amy love herself? If so, when one walks away from love the other releases and continues on their path. Those paths may merge again, or not. But life’s magic never changes because you love yourself. Perhaps something to ponder.

What I really came to ask (without judgement) is, How is it that you and your former spouse are “very, very close friends” when you cheated on her for 3 out of your 5 years of marriage? I was pretty blown away by that comment.

Glad to have found you,

Cleo

Got it Sue. Thanks for the feedback.

Is she breaks up with me again, then she breaks up with me again. I can’t control her (and wouldn’t want to) and I can’t predict the future.

There are no guarantees in love, Sue. That is what makes it so delightful and such a wonderful growth experience.

I welcome your constructive criticism, if you’re up for it.

With love,

Bruce

Kind regards
Sue Bramhall

I love you deeply!!! Wow.

XOXO,
Jennifer